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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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vintar

i was at the zoo and just kind of vagueing out leaning on a rail and watching the duck pond and in the background a kid started yelling “he’s coming for you! he’s coming for you!!” and i thought it was some game she was playing with her family or something up until i felt a little hand grab my elbow and looked down to see this tiny wide-eyed child staring up at me with the world’s most serious expression and she said in a solemn voice

“he’s here for you”

and something reached out and grabbed my other hand

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it turns out that a resident cockatoo has figured out that if it just waddles back and forth along the rail it can get the maximum amount of attention and headskritches with the minimum amount of flying and objectively this is very cute but at the same time this was very nearly the way that a grown adult died of a heart attack at the zoo

vintar

# wait wtf is that the bird from the adelaide zoo??? # I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S A POST ABOUT MY SWORN ENEMY # he literally chases after you if you ignore him fck that guy holyshti

lmao yep that’s the one!

i love bird tumblr so much, where else could you go “hey look at this bird” and have a complete stranger not only know where it lives, but declare that it’s their nemesis

thehotgirlproject

This is legit my favorite post

Source: vintar
egberts
iamcharlesxavier

So me and my friends were out playing pokemon go and we had to literally stop the car and turn around because we may have found the fanciest McDonald’s I’ve ever seen in my life

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A MANSION

And the inside is actually beautiful??????

Like there were live plants and I felt like I was walking into an upscale hotel??

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It also had a second fancy entrance???

Not only that but there was like a secret upstairs that’s apparently open usually, but it was too late for us to go up too (I’m deffo gonna go back and check that out because come on)

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Like what is she hiding 

But yeah I think I found either the most cursed or fanciest McDonalds in America

Also!

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It was a pokestop!

the-real-skye

This is a rare example of when zoning is a good thing, because it forces the generic McDonalds to look like surrounding architecture

egberts

I cannot believe op didn’t call it a McMansion

Source: iamcharlesxavier
significantfoliage
smarmyanarchist

god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face

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and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT

smarmyanarchist

Villain Origin Story

stuckuptumblercunt

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

smarmyanarchist

canon.

thor-20

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport

the-great-escapism

I also firmly believe that not a single teen in the MCU would take Captain America seriously. I’m positive he’d be a total meme, and anytime some sort of disaster is happening, all the kids would just laugh, like “good luck.”

The News: Captain America may be our only hope.

High school kids, snorting: What’s he going to do, tell the villain he’s disappointed in them and to make better choices?

smarmyanarchist

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

ms-demeanor

Gen-X Supervillian confronting cap after years of PSAs: Oh no, it’s the star-spangled saint coming to tell me to make better choices. Whatcha gonna do, Cap, help an old lady cross the street at me?

Captain America, AKA Steve Rogers the pissed-off-Brooklynite who spent his youth getting into alley fights: The fuck are you talking about? Eat fist, dipshit.

Cap leans into it after four villains in a row get thrown for a loop by him insulting their mothers and swearing a blue streak during battles so he plays up the oh-shucks thing during interviews. That works great until the news catches him on camera saying “It was propaganda, you nazi fuckwit” while decking a superpowered alt-right millennial who came to attack a BLM march.

“It Was Propaganda, You Nazi Fuckwit” becomes the next meme. There are photo edits, there are tee shirts.

Steve buys a tee shirt.

Source: smarmyanarchist
chamiryokuroi
glumshoe

major spoiler for ‘Into the Spider-verse’

Doc Ock hot

glumshoe

look I’m serious

DOC OCK HOT!!!

mousathe14

You keep saying the words and they keep making no sense because “Doc Ock” and “Hot” are not words that go together in a sentence unless temperature is involved.

glumshoe

just trust me on this

chocolatebreadsticks

i’m not sure I want to trust you, not about this…

glumshoe

[gently touches your shoulder]

you’ve gotta

sister-forget-me-not

I tried googling a photo or a screen cap or something anything and got nothing. Do you have photographic evidence of this?

glumshoe

No. You’re going to have to take a leap of faith and go see the movie.

brewdairymore

I was warned and yet. Not AT ALL prepared for just how accurate this is

Doc Ock Hot

glumshoe

it Changed me

Source: glumshoe spiderverse