Your Friendly Neighborhood Asexual

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
transformativeworks
daisybeats

So funny story.

I work for a financial institution and have a pretty senior position, but I still have to do a lot of 'training'

Every quarter we have to do 'IT training' that's basically 'dont open phishing emails, don't give out personal information of our clients' and 'everything you do can be tracked, including internet usage and we can read your emails and teams whenever we want.'

Have at it.

I've worked there seven years and they've never once said anything about me reading the news, AO3, Google docs, anything. So I figure 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm fine. They block all social media, but never blocked AO3.

Cut to today.

There are exactly two people in the company I like.

I'm outside decompressing with said two people as we do for 15 minutes at the end of everyday before we go home to our families. Kinda like wiping away the ick of the day.

IT guy: so what's ao3?

Me: what?! Why would you ask me that?

IT: because outside of sites related to your job, that's your most visited website

Me: you guys actually track that?!

IT: yeah we just don't give a shit. Unless you're being audited or investigated we don't give two fucks. So what's ao3?

My other friend is laughing her ass off.

Friend: OH MY GOD ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU READ YOUR WEREWOLF PORN?!

IT: enough said. Hope it's good at least.

Y'all my emo ass, skinny jeans and DC wearing IT guy knows I read/write werewolf porn on the clock and basically said godspeed.

daisybeats

!!!!! update!!!!

we have a security audit in 2 weeks and he said he scrubbed my ao3 life from my work PC but I'm free to continue after said audit.

Hes the fucking realest

meadowmoss-milo
valarinde

frankenstein (2025) is a movie about the cycle of violence and the inevitability of violence and about the miracle of being kind. it is a beautiful and touching adaptation that takes a unique view of some of the story’s focal points while staying true to the novel’s themes. it is also a movie that aims to remind us that the original creature textually had long flowing locks, for which I think we should all be thanking del toro specifically

grayblebayble
chimaeraundying

image

Something beautiful is happening.

redsixwing

You want to use the greatsword. You know you can figure it out. You know the timings, the distance, everything! You're going to rock at greatsword.

You make your character and for some reason, when you spawn in, against all logic you've got a fucking pike.

You can feel it every time you swing. The rhythm's all wrong and you die a lot because your hitboxes aren't where you expect them to be. It's so frustrating. You can't find one or buy it for any amount of souls. Other people have greatswords, so why not you?

People tell you, you're already such a good pike user! Just practice more, or try harder, or idk, git gud. You can do it! You're born to use the pike! Why do you even care about the greatsword anyway? Pike looks great on you.

All you've got is this pike, so on you go.

pencil-mint

And then when you finally get the greatsword, people constantly question why you want to use the greatsword. People constantly ask if you’re sure using the greatsword is a good choice for you when you already had the pike - or mention how many other people would kill to have spawned with the pike and how selfish you are.

The greatsword makes you happy, and you can finally enjoy the game, and everyone online tells you you’re playing it wrong and you’re not a real souls player. Constantly. Even people who like the greatsword and tell everyone how cool it is shame you for spending so long obtaining it.

Everyone constantly sees you as the type of player who started with the pike. Regardless of whether or not that’s something you want.

lidrens

After having gotten the greatsword and played with it for a bit, you decide to put your old and trusty pike in the offhand.

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